Wrestling like Jacob

I have a newfound favorite person in scripture…Jacob. We read in Genesis that while Jacob was wrestling and prevailing against the Lord, that the Lord touched Jacob’s thigh and dislocated it. Yet we read this did not stop Jacob as he says to the Lord in Genesis 32:26 “I will not let you go until you bless me”. This is where the Lord gives him the name Israel and says of him “Your name shall no longer be Jacob but Israel for you have striven with God and with men and have prevailed.”

Think about this for a second. Jacob’s thigh was dislocated and yet he continued forward…he didn’t stop or surrender. What a powerful spirit God gave Jacob. I like this about Jacob because I am striving with the Lord right now. I am sick. I sustained an adverse reaction to medicine prescribed to me that has destabilized and harmed my Central Nervous System. I know that the Lord, in His sovereignty, has permitted this. I am striving with him in hopes that He blesses me. My hope is to continue striving and prevailing until I am free from my illness. I am striving with Him trying to understand His will and ways. I am striving at times to believe His promises. I am striving with myself, desperate to get better. I am striving to be a good mom and wife, as best I can be right now. I am striving to push back against the physical pain, fear, cognitive impairment, emotional and psychological issues, and confusion that has been brought upon me from the chemical harm done to my brain…I am striving…every moment striving! Some moments I have victory, some moments I face defeat…but I strive.

I am striving even now as I write this. I sit in the anguish of my body, mind, and soul…waiting on the Lord as we are told to do in Scripture…waiting for the strength to rise. Waiting on God will be my position for a long time as my body on its own, must heal itself. My healing can take a long time so I wait for God to do a great work and restore completely what the locusts have eaten. A God who is greater than my circumstance. I know of only one – Jehovah!

Initially,  I prayed for deliverance but I know now He will cause me to walk through this. There is no other path but through the deep waters. And though I am weak, weary, and in pain, I remember God’s promise to Israel in Isaiah 43:2 “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, Nor will the flame burn you.” He is my only hope through this storm. Even though my mind isn’t working right and I face a tremendous amount of chemical complications and chemical fear, the truth of God’s Word is from everlasting to everlasting. While my mind and emotions may not be able to grasp it fully right now, yet it is true.

Those of us who face great struggles have to become like Jacob and wrestle to prevail. We must wrestle with God in prayer, with our heart for faith and with our bodies and minds to endure. Let us remember that the Lord goes with us through the waters. When we are most weak and fearful Jesus is with us. He alone is our hope, both in this world and the next!

Anyone who wants to talk about their struggles, please feel free to reach out. We can prevail together.